Noone plays golf with you because you always stand in front of the hole and keep people from hitting the ball in
Everytime you sit on the floor it's in a buterfly position
Your wife asks you why you didn't even blink when she walked naked in front of the hockey game on TV and you ask her "What the hell are you talking about?"
....And the whole time you're talking to her you still don't realize she's naked.
Best friend tosses you the car keys but the throw is way to low and to the right. You respond with a kicksave.
Your wife complains she's just started her period, so you say you'll come back in 20 minutes.
St Louis is the city with that landmark which looks like a giant 5-hole.
Acceptable words for my 8 year old son to use: ***, Damn, bitch, Sh*t, and F--K
Unacceptable words for my 8 year old son to use: Jagr, Forbserg, and Hull
Goalie store BB is down and you suddenly realize there are like hundreds, maybe even thousands of other websites out there, most of which are gay porn.
You are envious of baseball catchers because they have a 12 foot tall fence that prevents the ball from getting too far past them
While everyone shovels snow off their driveways this winter, you get out and zamboni yours.
.... and then "scuff" it.
You watch NHL 2-Nite because of Darren Pang (seriously ill addicts only)
Can't understand why searching your Palm Pilot's Holy Bible gave hits for "Joseph" but not for "Roy"
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